Hectic + stressful life

It comes to the end of year 2010, and now I'm still having my holidays. Friends might ask me how's my holidays throughout the whole month, I got no idea how to answer them, coz the happiness seem to be so short as if it's gone in just a glance of eyes.

Finally, after 3 weeks holidays in my hometown, I feel stressed. It's mostly due to the tiring life here. Every single thing I plan to do always come together with obstacles. I'm so tired of coping it all and just in a sudden, I feel like putting everything aside and hide myself under the blanket.

Readers, tell me how to be a perfect lover? May be you will think that no one can be perfect, I got the same thought too. But I'm still confusing how good is YOUR good. Hmm~ alright, may be to keep a good image, having a good characteristics, acting mature in public but being a little childish in private =), or may be to be as tough as a successful engineer. There's another option, to be a good cook, to be a good helper at home, to be a good mother, to be a....I got no idea at all. Again, you may answer me, just love you eternally and with all the sincerity, but I don't think this is only the thing you want. That's the minimum level of a good lover, but my question is how to be a perfect lover?

Same goes to, how to be a perfect daughter? What is in mother's mind actually? Any idea? For what I read since I know ABC, I read that every mothers wish her daughter to be a good helper at home besides being a good student in school. What is the meaning of a student? A student is a person who study. So, as long as I do my best, I get the best score in school, will I consider as a good student? For me, YES is the answer, but who will appreciate you? I'm just a student who undergoing degree, but not a degree HOLDER! Doing the house chores and serve family members all the time, that is exactly what a maid doing, fine, i will do what you ask for. But this NEVER seem to be ENOUGH to be a good daughter!!!

Another question, how to be a good friend? Lend you ears when you need someone to talk to? Lend you my hands when you need a help? Lend you a shoulder when you are about to cry? Lend you my time when you are too bored? I'm trying my best to do what I can do, but I do have my right to choose help or not to help, I do need some of my personal free time as well as to be alone. Okay, I always say that "don't feel hesitate to find me when you need my help" to my friends when they feel helpless, but I don't wish to involve myself in people's relationship thingy, coz I know outsider NEVER help. Sigh, just to be a good friend will be that tough too?

Conclusion: I'm losing my way to be the so-called one of the GREATEST person on Earth, just LEAVE ME ALONE to be who am I, or may be I had forgotten who actually I am, hmm~ I'm just too tired of thinking such questions with NO answer and tiring guide lines. This is the reason that I lost my appetite lately, I got no mood in doing ANYTHING coz EVERYTHING seem to be SO imperfect. Sigh, terrible ending of year 2010. Hate it!!! T.T